Put a ring on it

Now, if you're like me, i.e. you are quite highly strung and know exactly what you want, when it comes to an engagement, the thought of the right ring can be daunting. I have friends who have said 'no' to marriage proposals purely on it not being the right ring alone! Men also being men and not sharing our passions in all things sparkly need a bit of a push in the right direction. Obviously, we all have our own style, tastes and wants in jewellery, be it one hell of an enormous sparkling diamond solitaire, something quirky and unconventional, or a beautiful antique vintage piece. Here is where budget comes in to play a little bit too (girls with Blake Lively's ring dreams look away now). We've all heard that your partner should be spending 3 months salary on your ring, and well sometimes, that is just not possible. I have always had a love of vintage jewellery, so I had been looking for something along those lines and potentially using an alternative centre stone to save costs and still having some wow factor ring. I found via Instagram a ring designer called Heidi Gibson and was just completely mesmerised by her beautiful designs and work. She can work with you to design a piece that is perfect for you, design rings around heirloom stones, or pick from her many stunning settings. You choose the metal, the centre and the surrounding stones too, with options of any precious gem stone, white sapphires, diamonds, you name it. With prices starting from around $2150 up to whatever your budget can take you to.

There's always Tiffany, Cartier and the other big greats, which are lovely for inspiration, but if you haven't got the budget to stretch to that, then try not to get too attached to anything from them. After a lot of research as well, you pay a LOT just for the name. For example, in a local jewellery store in Cheshire, UK, a 1 carrot diamond solitaire in a D on the colour scale and very slightly included, was around £5000, but the same ring in Cartier had a £16,000 price tag. If you can afford that, then go for it, but if you look around at the more unknown names, you can get a lot more for your money. Try also looking in the diamond districts, New York's is situated on West 47th Street in between the 5th and 6th Avenue, and for London in Hatton Garden. These jewellery shops cut out the middle men, keeping prices a lot lower. We found my engagement ring in the New York diamond district when we were there on holiday, it's not as fancy as the Heidi Gibson rings, but it still has a vintage elegance about it that is perfect for me.

A very good friend of mine, got engaged a few months after we did, and her fiancé had bought her ring from Brilliant Earth, a conflict free American website. I sometimes joke with her that her ring isn't really a diamond at all, as the rainbow colours in it are so vibrant it is simply blinding. Again, like most stores, you choose the quality and size of the diamond etc making it something truly unique. It has a build your own ring process, where you choose the setting first, followed by the diamond, or stone of your choice.

It's always a nice idea to google celebrities engagement rings, especially with newer stones such as Morganite and Moissanite around, they also offer an affordable alternative. Moissanite is laboratory created, it's look and durability is so close to the diamond, but as it is created in a lab, has a minimal effect on the environment. Morganite is from the same gemstone family as Emereald and Aquamarine, it is slightly pink in colour and set in rose gold is just a dream of a ring, it also means that if you want the size, but don't have the funds they are both exceptional options.

Before the ring

I was what some might have called a mess, but for me, I was LIVING! I had been living in Paris for 3 years, a showgirl at one of the Worlds top cabarets, and really living up to expectation of a single girl living out her dreams in a new and romantic city. Now the French men, from my experience fall under 1 of 2 categories, they either fall in love with you in a second... or after a month or 2 of dating, you meet his other girfriends (or he brings them to see you in your show in my case)! I'd been given the amazing opportunity to be the 'Dance Captain' of our new show and threw my mind, body and soul into it whole heartedly. One night after a particularly long and gruelling day of rehearsals, I had decided to go for a drink with a friend who was going to meet a guy she had just started dating from Tinder and his friends, so I had agreed to go along. I always remembered friends saying to me 'it happens when you're not looking for it' and oh how that happened. That night, turning up in a gym bra, leggings, not a scrap of make up on and hair in a sweaty pineapple, there he was, sitting just across the table to me. We had said hello and then continued to ignore each other for at least the first hour of being in the bar, his friends and him chatted easily to each other (in French, which I was still blissfully incapable of learning) whilst we spoke to my friends new date. After sharing a few coy smiles and looking away quickly, he disappeared outside for a cigarette, from outside the window he did the famous "fake walking downstairs comedy trick" and I was done, the search was over! Back in the bar, I had decided a round of tequila shots was called for before dragging everyone on to one of my favourite bars of the time, 'Titty Twister'. Now I was "out out" every weekend, and most nights in between, so the owners of all of the big bars and clubs knew me like family, but bouncing around in my Nikes and lycra, was a sight they hadn't ever encountered, but they still found us a table and let us all drink for free. Tequila now running through my blood I had plucked up the courage to speak to François, and garbled away in English, as I'd found out he was the older brother of my friends new guy who had spoken so fluently in English all night and had just presumed he spoke English perfectly too. I kept thinking what a great listener this guy is, he seems to really get me, nodding and smiling all the time... or later, as I found out, doesn't speak a word of English! Anyway, it was time to go and after making my round of Goodbyes, I left him for last. As the French are so well renowned for their famous 2 kisses on the cheeks, or 'Bisous' we did what came naturally, kiss one cheek, then the other... then looked into eachothers eyes for a second too long, resulting in, well, an embarrassing show of french kissing. From that moment we were hooked, I can't actually remember a day that we didn't see each other, neither one of us played it cool at all. So my friends had been right, that 1 night had changed my whole life, a night I was completely unprepared for, I didn't have time for love, certainly hadn't gone out to find love, it just somehow, in the middle of my crazy and hectic life, found me. A few weeks ago I learnt that later that night, François had been in the car after the club with his friend and had said that he was in trouble. A kiss with some nutcase of an English girl and he knew that this was something different. I have always craved this love, having watched it as a constant with my parents, finding that something special and not settling for anything or taking me away from my fabulous single lifestyle. Now my crazy single days are a thing of the past, but this is just the start of our journey. I'm going to share with you tips, ideas, inspiration and everything else that helps you say 'I do' with a Phew.